Progress - Food - Behavior

One of my major goals was to start looking at when and why I want to eat.

I've been using food as something to provide comfort and "support". These foods, some are comfort food, others were just a sugary mess of processed chemicals we called candy.

Two major things contributed to it:
1.) Stress
2.) Lack of energy.

I've been focused on two things as of late:
1.) calm the fuck down.
2.) get 8 hours a night.

Relaxation:
It's been a difficult thing. However, the cancer came at a perfect time. It forced me to slow down, take stock, really look at everything, fully rest, and come back with a clear sense of priorities.
Now, don't go get cancer, or even get sick for that matter in order to find the time or focus to do this. Chip at it in small segments.
I found lavender tea, camomile tea (bedtime only), and changing the type of music I was listening to at work helped. Realizing that everything in my work life is temporary, changes, and I have very little control also helped. Removing myself from the need to have control over everything, and how small it was in the vast scale of everything, allowed me to step back and see it for what it was: simply something to do.

Sleep:
Chemicals in your body even out while in recovery during sleep. Keeping yourself from having this produces side effects that can allow you to crave different types of foods, which, oddly enough, for me made it worse - basically eating things that brought me down so I'd pass out.
Shutting down at the end of the day was always the hardest. I've combated that with manditory shut down times (10:30pm) a Half hour for tea and quiet, and then 11pm; in bed.
Now everybody's schedule is different, but you need to find the time that works - and you need to make it.

Cancer - Follow up - It's last stand

So it all boiled down to a few days before a 9 week treatment of Chemo was scheduled to kick off. I had, had a blood test and cat scan this week, thinking that it was mearly to solidify the treatment option. I was pleasently surprised.

My doctor called on the afternoon of 4/17 to inform me that both my blood count and lymph nodes have returned to normal and that I won't need to start chemo on Monday.

I was so far above relieved that I couldn't comprehend the fact that I was just handed a miracle.

I had built this moment up to the inevitable and here it was being stripped down to a simple "no need."

I'm estatic, exhausted, and still recovering from the removal surgery. Every day gets easier. I get stronger, I have more energy, I'm able to get more done, all one day at a time.

To anyone going through this: Don't beat yourself up. Take the time. Heal. Both Mind & Body. You need to get your head straight if you're going to get through something this life changing. You're body will follow.

Back to work - Food during lunch

With the new found focus around having contracted cancer, I've kicked up my attention to detail around the food that I injest everyday.

One of my biggest challenges are lunches at work. A few things make thing a problem:
1.) I don't have full control over where the food comes from.
2.) I don't have full control over how it's prepared
3.) Sodas are free at work - even though I've "conquered" this, it's still a potential pitfall; everyday.

So I'm making more specific choices that allow me to have more control - even at the cafe in the building.
*I'm going in the sandwich line - this allows me to pick and choose the various pieces I want to have put together
*I'm putting everything on veggie wraps - although I don't have full control over how the wrap was produced, it's still a great deal healthier than white bread or a plan corn tortilla.
*I'm loading on veggies every sandwich - no more shying away from onions. Olives, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes will now all come standard.
*I'm shying away from meat in general - I'm replacing it with heartier stuff such as Falafel, hummus, or straight veggies.
*Sides of fries or sides of anything are replaced - I'm taking options of fruit and rice typically. I'm trying to make the majority of the large part of my meal salad based; if not already a salad. So the side is now a way to fill on something healthier.

Even with loosing 10 lbs. from the surgery week and lack of appetite, I've been able to hold off it charging it's way back onto my body quite successfully with better food choices.

Starting weight: 200lbs.
Current weight: 192lbs.

Helpful articles - for myself - cancer related.

http://scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org/2014/03/24/dont-believe-the-hype-10-persistent-cancer-myths-debunked/

Week 5 - Review

Some of these are carry over from week 4 as I specifically gave myself larger goals due to the infrequency each week:

Week 5 - specifically
New:
Weekends count! - no slips! - 2 weeks solid results (complete!!!)
2 Salad replacement meals during lunch at work. - 2 weeks solid results  (complete)
Research protein meal replacements (had 3 of them for breakfasts with soy milk rather than almond milk)
Get Bottled Spring water for morning commute. (incomplete - still using tap. Almost back up to full 60 oz after going through the first week of recovery. )
(room for whatever goals liz sets for me)

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day. (complete)
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.(complete)
Remove all soda from daily consumption.  (complete)

Things that I've learned:
*Soy protein power actually binds better with soy milk rather than almond milk. Otherwise it clumps and is hard to swallow. 
*Adding Flax seeds to things is easy - especially if there is a binder like peanut butter. I'm planning on using more of this moving forward in just about everything; because why not?

Recovery - update

The scar is healing nicely.
Numbness that I had in the same area became more like aching now. So I've increased the amount of Ibuprofen I'm taking - nothing crazy.
Icing the area like it's my job; well, cause it is.

My appetite is coming back. Today I had wheat bread pizza - which I soon regreted because of the huge difference in substance it was from my rice cakes and rice which I'd been eating for almost a week now.
I can really feel the difference in my body when I have something heavy like cheese. I've come to appreciate how light and fluid everything feels when I eat light and simple. I think this is just another nail in the coffin of eating "whatever is easy".

Passing the time - my first week in recovery from surgery.

The thing I was worried most about was "what the hell am I going to do with all this time?"

Simple - whatever my mother could also handle doing. this then easily worked out to the following things:

Reruns of Star Trek - DS9 to be specific
Sherlock - the new BBC version (hooked on this).
Reading
Sleeping
Walking exercises (down the hallway - now working on down stairs/up stairs).

Things that I'm planning on working my way into today:
*reading through magazines that have been sitting, waiting to be used
*reading first chapters of all the new books my mother brought me
*recycling paper and magazines that I do not want to hold onto.

I will then work my way back into DS9 reruns, the last of Season 2 of Sherlock, and an OnDemand replay of the last episode of Vikings :-)

Other things that I've begun to be able to handle doing: 
Bending over
Squating (slowly)
Standing at the sink - doing smaller batches of dishes daily. (side goal: see how long I can keep the sink this clean and clear)
Showering - will take another one today.