and suddenly it all hits

My diagnosis of Testicular Cancer had not fully hit when I was told last Friday.

Tonight I had to call about 5 different family and friends to give them updates. My Doctor's appointment today was filled with dates, times, instructions and next steps; I've been a whirl of action.

The thing that made it real was hearing my grandmother almost not be able to keep it together on the phone. She's had both breasts taken from cancer, and my cousin has written books on this type of cancer in men, being a survivor himself.

Getting into bed I started crying; it was real.

Chemo-therapy is an option on the table. For now, however, we're simply going to remove the right one and see if the limyph nodes relax naturally.

On the bright side, I've been reading up and the survival rate for this is amazingly high: http://www.cancer.org/cancer/testicularcancer/detailedguide/testicular-cancer-key-statistics

"Because testicular cancer usually can be treated successfully, a man’s lifetime risk of dying from this cancer is very low: about 1 in 5,000."

Trying to get focused - Meals

Talking with Liz about the NEED to cut out fast food and crap in my diet - ESPECIALLY now that I've been diagnosed with Testicular Cancer.

Watching the Vira Living network yesterday and I wanted to get a better idea of my body type:
http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/kapha-body-type-meal-plan

found out I'm Kapha -

Working with Liz about meals and about prep over weekends.

week 4 - goals / review

So this week is brought mixed results. Primarily because on Thursday I had a free Soda at work. Not that big of a deal, but as I said before, I'm taking small things seriously; devil is in the details.

That slip came about a phone call from my doctor - this week hasn't been great on that front. I had an appointment for last week, with follow ups and a specialist visit this week. Thursday brought the call of "i need you to go see 1 last specialist to rule out Testicular Cancer."

Friday - I went to that specialist - which required 2 more tests and a urine sample (my favorite when I JUST peed at work).  it's highly (98%) likely that I do, in fact, have Testicular Cancer. I'm not flipping out yet, but I am trying to watch my emotional eating.

New:
Weekends count! - no slips! - 2 weeks solid results (partial week = week 1)
2 Salad replacement meals during lunch at work. - 2 weeks solid results  (incomplete)
Research protein meal replacements (in progress)
Get Bottled Spring water for morning commute. (incomplete)
(room for whatever goals liz sets for me)

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day. (complete)
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.(complete)
Remove all soda from daily consumption. 5/5 days at work (4/5 - incomplete)

Week 4 - Goals

This week I'm going to take on more because they're span goals. 

New:
Weekends count! - no slips! - 2 weeks solid results
2 Salad replacement meals during lunch at work. - 2 weeks solid results
Research protein meal replacements
Get Bottled Spring water for morning commute.
(room for whatever goals liz sets for me)

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day.
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.
Remove all soda from daily consumption. 5/5 days at work

Week 3- Review

New:
Remove all soda from daily consumption. 5/5 days at work(COMPLETE)

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day.(COMPLETE)
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.(COMPLETE)

Full disclosure: Last night I went out to celebrate with some friends of mine and consumed 5 vodka redbulls - I didn't "count" it because it wasn't my normal consumption.

Good news:
zero soda; zero energy drinks. Nailed it. 
This week felt good. I felt vindicated. I felt like I was able to pull something off with nothing but walls of free soda dangling in my face. 
A visit to the doctor yesterday showed that my blood pressure went down :-) fun! wasn't even trying. 

Mixed news:
Had 2 MacDonald's breakfast barritos. I felt no shame. I'd secretly added fast food as a goal this week. Special K bars and small pastries for breakfast can only do so much.
I will have to have a plan for breakfast food replacement. I was thinking protien shakes. (note to do research)

Bad news: 
My weekend consumptions; I need to hold myself accountable.
Last week I slipped hard on "eat all the crap." Dominos, Wendies, Taco Bell. I did a lot of driving around - but I had no excuse. I could have chose better; flat out.

Daily consumption: 

Breakfast: 
20oz water
Breakfast pastry / special k bar
*there's tons of room for improvement here. 

Lunch:
whatever they're serving in the cafe.
typically it's something that's not all that great for you, but it's filling.
*room for improvement: switch back to 2-3 salads a week

Dinner:
Normally my consumption goes down after i come home. It turns into more snack food than anything.
Recently I've been behaving with portion control, and my gf cooks really amazing things.
*there's room for improvement here too.

Week 3 - Goals

New:
Remove all soda from daily consumption. 5/5 days at work

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day.
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.

Week 2 - Review

Goal review:
New:
Start to remove all soda from daily consumption. 2/5 days at work complete - unsuccessful

Continue: 
Continue with the 60 oz water a day. (Success)
Continue to keep out energy drinks from daily consumption.(Success)

I was disapointed, but I can feel the momentum now. My body is reacting to not having the sugar and simply having tea and water in the morning.

I think this next week I can at LEAST do 4/5 days without it.

To keep things in perspective, there are 3 kitchens at work, all with fully stocked coolers with 8 different types; all free.
It's a big wall to climb.
Realizing this makes it easier to not be hard on myself. Seriously; hundreds of cans of soda, with no cost, just sitting there. However, one of the choices is Snapple Ice Tea. The sugar in it isn't much better.

I've got this.