Progress - Food - Behavior

One of my major goals was to start looking at when and why I want to eat.

I've been using food as something to provide comfort and "support". These foods, some are comfort food, others were just a sugary mess of processed chemicals we called candy.

Two major things contributed to it:
1.) Stress
2.) Lack of energy.

I've been focused on two things as of late:
1.) calm the fuck down.
2.) get 8 hours a night.

Relaxation:
It's been a difficult thing. However, the cancer came at a perfect time. It forced me to slow down, take stock, really look at everything, fully rest, and come back with a clear sense of priorities.
Now, don't go get cancer, or even get sick for that matter in order to find the time or focus to do this. Chip at it in small segments.
I found lavender tea, camomile tea (bedtime only), and changing the type of music I was listening to at work helped. Realizing that everything in my work life is temporary, changes, and I have very little control also helped. Removing myself from the need to have control over everything, and how small it was in the vast scale of everything, allowed me to step back and see it for what it was: simply something to do.

Sleep:
Chemicals in your body even out while in recovery during sleep. Keeping yourself from having this produces side effects that can allow you to crave different types of foods, which, oddly enough, for me made it worse - basically eating things that brought me down so I'd pass out.
Shutting down at the end of the day was always the hardest. I've combated that with manditory shut down times (10:30pm) a Half hour for tea and quiet, and then 11pm; in bed.
Now everybody's schedule is different, but you need to find the time that works - and you need to make it.

Cancer - Follow up - It's last stand

So it all boiled down to a few days before a 9 week treatment of Chemo was scheduled to kick off. I had, had a blood test and cat scan this week, thinking that it was mearly to solidify the treatment option. I was pleasently surprised.

My doctor called on the afternoon of 4/17 to inform me that both my blood count and lymph nodes have returned to normal and that I won't need to start chemo on Monday.

I was so far above relieved that I couldn't comprehend the fact that I was just handed a miracle.

I had built this moment up to the inevitable and here it was being stripped down to a simple "no need."

I'm estatic, exhausted, and still recovering from the removal surgery. Every day gets easier. I get stronger, I have more energy, I'm able to get more done, all one day at a time.

To anyone going through this: Don't beat yourself up. Take the time. Heal. Both Mind & Body. You need to get your head straight if you're going to get through something this life changing. You're body will follow.

Back to work - Food during lunch

With the new found focus around having contracted cancer, I've kicked up my attention to detail around the food that I injest everyday.

One of my biggest challenges are lunches at work. A few things make thing a problem:
1.) I don't have full control over where the food comes from.
2.) I don't have full control over how it's prepared
3.) Sodas are free at work - even though I've "conquered" this, it's still a potential pitfall; everyday.

So I'm making more specific choices that allow me to have more control - even at the cafe in the building.
*I'm going in the sandwich line - this allows me to pick and choose the various pieces I want to have put together
*I'm putting everything on veggie wraps - although I don't have full control over how the wrap was produced, it's still a great deal healthier than white bread or a plan corn tortilla.
*I'm loading on veggies every sandwich - no more shying away from onions. Olives, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes will now all come standard.
*I'm shying away from meat in general - I'm replacing it with heartier stuff such as Falafel, hummus, or straight veggies.
*Sides of fries or sides of anything are replaced - I'm taking options of fruit and rice typically. I'm trying to make the majority of the large part of my meal salad based; if not already a salad. So the side is now a way to fill on something healthier.

Even with loosing 10 lbs. from the surgery week and lack of appetite, I've been able to hold off it charging it's way back onto my body quite successfully with better food choices.

Starting weight: 200lbs.
Current weight: 192lbs.